Wednesday, March 25th, 1998
Some notes written during a Yoga Teacher Training Course at Aio Wera, Waitakere, New Zealand.
Fear, anger, hatred, blame, and the myriad of other states manifesting at this level of being, are mechanisms that arise in order to protect my false sense of separate self. They arise both to protect this and as a product of this sense of separation. My illusions are self-fulfilling and self-sustaining. I fight to maintain this false sense of separate self to feel that I exist as some independent entity that can then objectively experience Unity / God / Love.
Yet I already am Unity / God / Love, though totally unaware of this reality within the body-mind. Through believing in the illusion of separation I sense that I need this experience in order for it to be real.
If I throw off and deny the ego-personality and all its mad emotions and thoughts then I simultaneous deny God the experience of being Unity / God / Love and having AWARENESS of this reality through experience, through direct perception.
Through letting go of attachment to and identity with the ego-self yet not denying it I become more aware (experientially) of my True and Natural state of Being — Unity / God / Love.
Thusly, God experiences God.
God aware of God.
Just to be aware.
Awareness is the key.
Ultimately the individual — as a unit of Awareness — discovers their self as God.
This leads spontaneously to to discovering that All-Is-God, that all is one.
One can easily stop here and seemingly cease to exist. Evolution comes to a holt. One’s universe ceases to expand. For the Self, in its usual sense, has nothing left to do.
Yet ultimately the purpose of individualized selfhood is not just to experientially be aware of God as God ones for its own sake but rather to be the full expression of that in its totally, for only then is that awareness of God as God complete. Even this has no finality, for we are, of course, dealing with Infinity when we speak of God.
Self is literally transformed into an absolute expression and simultaneous experience of God, the totality, Infinity. At this point, only, does the ego-self illusion truly cease to maintain and experience itself as a reality unto itself. The Boddisatva returns not through some kind of altruistic volition to save and help all beings. That’s a very personal way of relating to it from the mind of those who thing they are being saved. Rather the Boddisatva is all beings, in one particular expression or aspect, moving in whichever way happens to be most conducive for the totality of all beings to sustain the evolution of awareness.
This is God being ABSOLUTELY AWARE of God as all that God is.
This is total illumination. This is the end of separation - and of self. Evolution at the level of self ceases to Be, and yet paradoxically Awareness continues to evolve in ways unfathomable to Man at this point in our development. Creation ceases. It just is. As it always was. Yet now eternally aware of That.
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