Forever Expanding Awareness In Liberation

It’s all a story. Even this which I am telling you now, it too is a story. Every-thing is a story told by a Great Mystery beyond the grasp of our human mind, for even our humanity is a story told by this Great Mystery.

2+2=4
3×3=9
These are stories also; mathematical stories. Yet even the concept of mathematics is again another story. I would about to say "The truth is we can’t get away from telling stories," yet that too is another story. Tricky, isn’t it?

Actually it’s not that complicated nor tricky. Once one realises the world of things is a story, a kind of a letting go can take place. It’s like we can sort of let go of the seriousness of it all, and approach Life from a perspective that is potentially much more at ease with things and especially much more at ease with the unknown, the realm of no-thing–which ordinarily has such a frightful presence in the world of Man.

Because everything is a story there is nothing to believe. There is nothing to disbelieve. We can simply choose what kind of story we wish to tell, and then experience the con-sequence of this story unfolding within our perception. I’ve noticed that the world of Man reflects many stories on many different dimensions. From one perspective it’s an awful story of war, hatred, fanaticism, religious dogmatism, and environmental and ecological destruction, where humankind somehow got it all wrong. There isn’t much fun to be had at that level of story telling–it’s mostly made up of pain and anguish, although human beings seem to do a pretty good job of hiding that fact from themselves. I know I’ve played my part in such stories, at one time or another.

From another perspective Life as made manifest here on/in Earth is an exquisitely beautiful affair, of unimaginable intelligence and perfection. There is such bliss to be experienced, such radiance to be lived, and such kindness to be shared, that all beings are simply overflowing with these qualities. Another angle on that story, however, is that despite this story being true most people seem to hide it from themselves. It’s awfully silly really, yet I know there’s a sound reason for this.

Whenever I am struggling with my circumstances I find it very helpful to pause and ask myself what story I am maintaining in this moment. I invariably find it is my story that is the cause of my pain and whatever suffering I may be experiencing in relationship to that pain. This leaves me with no one to blame, and no one to attack or defend (including myself). It simply leaves me with an opportunity to forgive and in that forgiveness–in that giving up of my story–the opportunity to tell my story anew.

In my story I trust you’ve enjoyed reading this story which I’ve now shared with you.

Self-discipline is an area many people struggle with. I know I have over the years an in some areas this continues to be a challenge I face. According to some research done by Roy Baumeister of Florida State University and his colleagues exercising self-regulation (as they put it) an any area of ones life may result in greater self-regulation in many other areas.

One implication I can see of this hypothesis is that it may mean that sitting every day to meditate, even if only for 10 or 15 minutes, or doing some other spiritual "practice" each day will enable a person to have greater self-discipline and self-regulation in other areas of their life.

Information on this study can be found »here«

For those people interested in writings on shamanism and the psychedelic experience here is a book I came across whilst perusing around the internet. It’s called “Breaking Open the Head” (by Daniel Pinchbeck). I’ve not read this book, but it does look interesting.

The homepage for Breaking Open the Head by Daniel Pinchbeck is at — Breaking Open the Head

It can be obtained from Amazon.com using the following link:

There are sample chapters located at: http://www.breakingopenthehead.com/read_the_book.htm
Here’s the info from that page:

The purpose of taking [yagé] is to return to the uterus … where the individual “sees” the tribal divinities, the creation of the universe and humanity, the first human couple, the creation of the animals, and the establishment of the social order.
- Gerardo Reichel-Dolmatoff, Flesh of the Gods

We have drunk the Soma; we have become immortal; we have gone to the light; we have found the gods. What can hatred and the malice of a mortal do to us now, O immortal one?
- Rig Veda (c.1000 BC)

Included here are sections from my book. The first four sections are about visiting the Amazon to take ayahuasca, the sacred Amazonian jungle brew. I consider ayahuasca (also known as yagé) to be an extraordinarily profound and healing “medicine.”

The fifth section, “Phantasticum, $2000,” is a long evocation of an ayahuasca trip and some further speculations, that did not make it into the finished book.

Vipassana Meditation Website

I have just completed my forth 10-day Vipassana course. I did the first one about 9 years ago and—like millions before me and after me—I found it to be truly wonderful experience.

I’ve seen many teachers and teachings in this world, and there are few that I recommend to people. Mainly because I find that most things are not universal in nature and hence can never be of value to all people. Vipassana I find to be universal in nature and of immediate and very real benefit to any person that seriously tries it.

There are many people now teaching Vipassana. Most charge money. Vipassana—as taught by this non-profit organisation—charge no fee for doing the course. I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone that feels any degree of attraction to it. I’ve only received this meditation through this source and I am grealful for the purity they have maintained.

Check it out…

The following is a dialogue I had via an internet chat tool with a dear friend, in early 1999. Gosh that seems like a long time ago now. In reading over this material, however, I get the impression that it is just as applicable — and potentially useful — now as it was then.

I have edited it a little in order to make it clearer and easier to read. For the most part, however, it is a simple copy and paste of what I recorded 7 years ago.
My friend was using the alias name In Silence

I post it here so that you too might benefit from it in some way.

With love,

————————————–
ICQ Chat Save file
Started on Sat Feb 06 23:44:14 1999
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In Silence I was thinking of asking you about the meditation and yoga that can be beneficial for me at this particular time…

Well… if you are sincere enough then all meditation is beneficial…. as with yoga too…

In Silence Understood.

Though the thing to remember is that ultimately this thing we so freely call “meditation” is actually a state of being — our most natural state of being.
It is not something that you just sit down and “DO” for so much time a day or whatever…
The “doing” — using one of the many thousands of techniques out there — is about letting go to the point that you might just — if you have truly fortunate — stumble acrossyour own non-existence and slip away into a state of Meditation or Yoga (Union)…

So what would you like from me… some info on techniques… something else??

In Silence I am just so amazed of what you told me.. I really have nothing to say!
But a few techniques would be good to know.

“Amazed”… gosh… what I shared just spilt out onto the keyboard from the top of my mind somewhere… nice that you find it so “amazing”…
So the first technique… this is an old Tantric meditation technique… although I imagine it’s been taught through various spiritual paths.

First sit and be still…
Start to observe you breathing… without changing it for now
Simply follow the breathe into your body, down to your solar plexus or that general region…
Observe it there and then it will turn around and leave again…
This is something to observe and be simply be aware of…
It is very subtle…
At first (and maybe for some time) you will actually only be observing your BREATHING action, so to speak — the actual physiology / movement of the breathing process
But the breath itself is something quite different…
Something so subtle…
So sweet to see and discover…
So subtle — remember that…
The grosser activity or physiology of breathing is not the breath itself… 

Do you follow…

So do this for some time…
Be determined to sit each day… for some time at least…
The exact length of time is something that should come naturally…
Don’t force yourself… yet do not be too complacent about it…
The mind has so much stuff going on…
So many habits…
That you may find you sit for just 1 minute and then already this mind of yours will start to try and convince you that “this is enough”…
“This is all that feels ‘Natural’ and said do not do it for more than what feel natural”

So this is just the habit of the mind…
The human ego-mind is so mad and crazy… don’t listen to it during this time…

The naturality in it all will come from some where deeper within you…
Some where in the vicinity of the heart… or maybe the belly also
This is where you feel how long to sit and when to sit…
The mind will try to ignore everything that you feel here…
So ignore it

Because you might be so conditioned to listening to the mind,
And not listening to your feelings in the heart and solar plexus,
You might initially, for some days or weeks, just set a determined intent on when and for how long you will sit each day.
You will use your mental determination to do this.
But later… not that much later… you will no longer have to use the mind to play this game.
You will just go with what feels right.
Unless of course you come up against a wall of emotion or inner resistance
Which is just the ego dancing around,
Then you might have to return to using mental determination for a while.
One the wall is dissolved,
You can again get the mind out of it,
And just go with what feels right.
Be aware that generally more and more sitting will “feel” right.
So if you observe that what “feels right” is to sit hardly any time at all,
Then again you might be getting fooled by the ego.

In Silence So you practice awareness. Is this the point with this?

You are not practising anything…
Well, at first it will seem that way — that you are practicing something…
It might help to view it in that way.
Yet there is a point where you are just awareness and you will be the awareness of the breath doing this one very simple thing…
Just coming into you abdomen… just that…
Even forget about the turning of the breath to go out — for now — just coming in and maybe going out…

Then after some time this shall be something that you are aware of through different times of the day…
Then maybe a lot of the day…
If you can be this aware of this all day then this is something that you might start to be aware of in your sleep too…
This is something else to discuss some other time… so, do you follow…?

In Silence Yes! it was very interesting to hear! I am so anxious to start with this as I believe I have longed for it a very long time… 

Certainly… this is part of your homecoming…
You have longed for this for all of eternity…
Something that has always been there calling you toward it…

In Silence Do you want to hear a very interesting thing I read yesterday?
Certainly….

In SilenceIt was about Kundalini…

A guy named Goel was a disciple of Sai Baba and at first he didn’t know that sai baba were communicating with him…wanting him to start being aware…
So, this guy , Goel, told about his experiences with the Kundalini-energy (which I understand is the awareness of the whole universe…well never mind..I’m not a pro on this LOL)
Well, he told in the book that the Kundalini (or awareness of God ) is fighting against the sensesand the ego… It is breaking asunder the nerves that have been built even since childhood.

So the nerves are your ego… That was very interesting and logical I thought… What do you know or thing about this?

So… the nerves are the sum total of all the subtle and grosshabit patterns and responses — well actually reactions — to the world around you… so yes… in a sense much of the personality is sort of just the biochemistry and cellular makeup of this nerve tissue… and Awareness is something that will start to alter the nervous composition of you mind/body…

In Silence Yes, and I’ve been taught that the nerves are building up when you are a child and therefore habits are created hard to break…

They started some time just after you were conceived in the womb…
You see this is something that makes the human a unique creature on this planet… it has the option to go beyond the nerve reaction to the world and to pull in a higher consciousness or Awareness… this is something quite unique…

In Silence But in order to do this must you not first get rid of your old habitual patterns?

There is really nothing to get rid of… just this belief that these habits and personal stuff and issues are Real… they have no substance… just energy and that energy is renewed every moment… by what… by your own state of consciousness or awareness…
Okay… Although it might initially feel to your ego-mind-self that you are getting rid of something.
Really it is just misidentification you are “Getting rid of”
Dissolving or release really.

In Silence Yes ok I see, but to become aware of what the ego really is and that it is nothing!

Meditation is about seeing things for how they really are… and the greatest or funniest thing you will see is that there was never anything to achieve or do or fix or make healthy or get rid of… such a joke… so frustrating for those that seem to not know…

In Silence Yes it is a pain in the ass!

In Silence Hmmm so it is a good idea become aware right now!

All I have ever said is “JUST TO BE AWARE… this is it… this is the journey of GOD, of Creation, of ALL-THAT-IS”… what ever you call it…

In Silence Do you not have emotions anymore…??

In general, no, I do not have emotions…
Rather I am aware of emotions… and how wonderful they are.
I am nothing… aware of everything… sometimes… yet subtlety this is always there…

In Silence But how is that different… being aware of your emotions OR be able to control them??

Nothing to control… control is the ego-mind asserting it self — against itself
Madness… control is suppression…
Just to be aware… That is not a matter of “control”

In Silence But if you then are aware of your emotions… do they really start to even occur to you?

That all depends… they do not occur TO me and the are NOT me… nor do they Effect me… they are just something that I am aware of…
Of course there are times when I get caught up in the emotions.
Only when I identify with them though.
And that’s quite okay…
I go on a ride — quite a hairy and painful one at times — and then the ocean calms down and there I AM…
Peacefully aware again. Well, not really “again” as the awareness is always there,
It just seems like “again” because for a while I lost my sense of it
Because my attention was totally fixated on something else…
On these “emotions” we have talked about.
Enjoy the ride.

In Silence I’ll do this for sure…!

This is enough for now… too much to work on for you…
Just watch the breath and then become aware of it…
Just this small part of the breath…
The breathing action first… certainly… then the actual breath itself….
Then we shall discuss some more…
This practice may not suit you as a means to go all the way there… to “nirvana” or “home”… this may just take you one step…
Then something else…
This is something that you shall know/feel…
Then I tell you some more or you hear some more from some where else… whatever… it will all happen perfectly

In Silence ok that sound great!

Time to go… love to you Brother…

This world — your world, my world, the worldthat each of us seemingly lives within and experiences from day-to-day — is highly symbolic in nature. In fact it is COMPLETELY symbolic in nature. Just as words are symbols — a language created and understood by a culture that agrees to use it — for the purpose of conveying a message, so too the manifest world is a language used to convey a message. This is a point about reality that most people are unaware of. For those that wish to wake up within the Dream — those that are consciously on the Path of Power — it is vital to come to a clear understanding, and eventual experience and feeling for, the fact that the world is an entirely symbolic expression. It is, in a sense, the language of the soul — a soul that has a very important and pertinent message to convey.

I call this “learning to read the world”. Society will at best teach a child how to read and write in the language of its choosing. English, Japanese, Maori, Hopi, etcetera. This language has its uses. For instance gives you and I the capacity to share the message conveyed by the words I am now writing and which you are now reading (some time in my apparent future !). For the most part, the language of a culture or society is constructed in such a way that it is most apt and geared towards conveying the message embodiedwithin that culture. That message is very often a self-serving one. It is based on preservation of the known and agreed upon parameters of the culture. Parameters that — certainly in the case of the Anglo-Saxonculture I was born into — are extremely limiting relative to the massive scope of That which I Am.

It is much like a religion or cult. Well, in fact it is a cult — in the true meaning of that word (a word so misused by Christian fundamentalists and the likes), the source of the word “culture”.Any cult has an agreed upon language and particular way of using the language at hand in order to convey the message it adheres to. Most religions, for instance, go to great lengths to maintain the exclusivity, stability, and purpose for which they stand for. All those that do not adhere to the ways of the religion (a theocentric cult) as conveyed through the message inherent in its use of language (symbols) are cast aside until they one day (if ever) decide to repent.

Society is also a cult — a sociocentric cult. It operates in exactly the same way as a religion, just with broader terms and boundariesthat are not as obvious as those seen in the smaller cults created by religions. It too will use language in such a way as to keep the minds within the society rigidly adherentto the parameters set down by that culture as acceptable and “okay”. It is the task of those on the Path of Power to break free of this insanity.

This brings us back to learning — actually it is more appropriate to say “re-member-ing” — the language of the Soul, as woven into the world we each individually and collective co-create. As mentioned above, language is used to convey a message. So the obvious questionis, “What message does the world convey?”. Now realise, that each layer will convey a slightly (or dramatically) different message. The message the layer of the ego-mind conveys is one of separation— suffering, war, chaos, evolution, failure, hatred, emotionally conditional love, starvation, inequality, victimisation, external power, etcetera. AdmittedlyI’ve painted a somewhat grim picture of the ego’s world view, but I think you will find that these are ultimately the things that the ego-mind hones in on and keeps at the forefront of the human experience. A brief and honest look at human history will give apply evidence to support that fact.

So it is of great import to realise the implications of the above paragraph. The primary implication is this: So long as I continue to perceive the world through the eyes of the ego-mind I will be forever locked into the experience of that which it’s language is designed to convey — which is essentially perpetual and cyclic suffering. Okay, there are some rosy moments in the midst of it all — I am not trying to deny that — but I feel that anyone who is truly self-honest will see that these apparent rosymoments are really just small carrots the ego keeps dangling out in front of us as we blindly walk through a field of rotten corpses and manure… and then wonder, “What the f*#k is that horrid, ghastly smell. I think I’m going to puke”. Puke, of course, projects out in front of the face. Thus the nice juicycarrot the ego was holding out there is now covered in something that makes it anything but “rosy” and appealing. Admittedly, many of us has learnt to suffice with this sort of existence, and have talked ourselves into a rather limited world where this scenario, “ain’t that bad mate”. Yuk.

Okay… so if you’re ready for the message I am conveying, then I am sure you get the point of all of the above. If you don’t get the point of the above then I will suggest you are not ready… that the ego has you firmly locked into it’s pathetic excuse for fun and happiness, and it might be best if you return to this material at some later date. Oh, okay… read one, read on… let’s see where we get to in all this. Something got you this far. Perhaps you’re more ready than you’d like to admit — more ready than the ego is wanting to let you admit.

The message the world is conveying to you is ultimately something like this:
“You are eternal. You are vast. You are an incredibly powerful creative force. You are powerful. You are pure love. You are a Divine Being, that is whole, holy, and complete in all ways. You are perfect, and in that Perfection you are no less than God, and have NEVER diverged from the way God created you”.

It is perhaps quite obvious that this is not the general impression most of us get when we look at the world, and go through our day-to-day lives. Why is that?
Well, for a start, we have forgotten how to read the world, and have got heavily engrossed in the horror movie being conducted by the ego-mind. That’s not an inherently”Bad” thing. No, not at all. It just ain’t that much fun after a while — say a few millions years for some of us — and it really does little to reflect to you and I the shear magnificence of out True Nature. Basically we live in the Kingdom of Heaven — yes, right here on Earth, or wherever else we find our self situated — and yet from moment to moment we perceive and experience what some might aptly call Hell, with perhaps a few glimpse of what some might call “Heaven” (there’s that bloody carrot rearing it’s ugly green head again !)

Once you are remember how to see the world through (increasingly) true perception — the Vision of the Soul and of God — then it will all start to look rather different. Suddenly you are living in Heaven, having a splendid adventure in experiential creativity, where life is just one big juicy “carrot” (way to big to puke on in way that is of any significance), with brief moments of being in the field of dead corpses and manure simply to keep you moving along at a healthy pace. We don’t, after all, want to lounge around, get lazy, and forget why we are here. Thatis in fact what has happened, and that is in fact why the flashes of the putrid field of corpses has taken president over the vast carrot in the sky.

Okay… I’ll put that stinking metaphor to rest now. I’m sure you got the message a number of iterations ago. Please forgive me.

How does one learn to read the world?
Simple.
You cease identifying with your human mind (and its endless stream of thoughts). You cease identifying with your emotions (which will never stop dancing around), and you start to live from a place of intuitive feeling.

“Easier said than done”, I hear you say. Granted. It is easy to say, are relatively tricky to actually pull it off.

All of what I write is conveying one message… and that message is something along the lines of, “This is how you might be able to break free… read on, apply what you read, fasten your seatbelt, and let’s enjoy the ride”.

So I am not going to attempt conveying the answer to such a question here in this piece of writing. My point here was simply to draw your attention to “Re-cognising the symbolic nature of the world”…

Blessings,

Council on Spiritual Practices

This is an interesting website that I found through a reference made to it in a book called “Cleansing the doors of perception” by Huston Smith.

The above link goes to the Ethnogen section of the CSP website. Be sure to check out the other sections.

Blessings,

en·theo·gen [god within; god- or spirit-facilitating] a psychoactive sacramental; a plant or chemical substance taken to occasion primary religious experience.

I listened to an excellent BBC documentary some time ago (last year perhaps). It was a 6-part radio series on the use of plants for various purposes, both by humans and other animals. One of the comments made was that present day society is the first society we know of in the known history of humanity to NOT use entheogenic plants as a normal part of their social and spiritual functioning. Not only do we not include the use of these plants in our social system, we go so far as to ban them and make it a crime to use or possess many of these plants — plants that have been used since the beginning of time (in human terms).

I’ve had an interest in the nature of reality and consciousness since before I was in my teens. That interest led me into many forms of self-exploration and discovery. The exploration of psychoactive substances and ethnogenic plants was part of that journey — a very significant and important part. I would be a liar to deny that. I would also be a liar if I did not let people know that this sort of ethnogenic exploration played an important part of my ongoing path to awakening. It’s not, however, something I’ve tended to draw much attention to or talk about with people. I think that is perhaps because it is a rather controversial subject thanks to the rather contracted view that our society has on all matters falsely swept under the umbrella of “drugs”. The so called “war on drugs” is not a war on drugs at all. First and foremost it is a business decision, or “business policy” that allows those who deal in drugs to make vast amounts of money for very little (the global drug trade is one of the biggest industries in the world), and secondly it is a war against human freedom — the freedom alter your consciousness in a safe way as and when you wish to, except in ways determined by “society” to be okay (like tobacco, coffee, cocoa, alcohol, etc., [all big money makers too]). Keep in mind that many of the most successful companies in the world have some degree of association or indirect affiliation with the drug industry. There is also a great deal (as in a HUGE AMOUNT) of evidence that indicates the American government and a number of its agencies also make a great deal of money out of the global drug industry.

I am not implying that many of the “drugs” people have access to these days are not potentially dangerous to the individual who users them, and to the society and other people associated with these individuals. What I am suggesting, however, is that Man has create this problem and continues to perpetuate it. It is our collective and deep set denial of ethnogenic plants and our ancient relationship to such plants that has brought about the what in today’s terms we call “drugs”. For a traditional user of Ayahuasca (one of many ethnogenic sacraments predating recorded history) this drink was not a “drug” as we think of “drugs”. It was consider a “food” that provided a level of sustenance and intelligence that ordinary day-to-day foods did not impart. It was also considered and referred to as a “medicine”. This was medicine for the spirit, and it’s efficiency at healing on this level also made it a medicine for the body — recognising the all physical ailments have the point of origin in the mind and ones relationship to Self as spirit.

Humans have an inherent and unavoidable need to experience states of consciousness that differ from the ordinary reality that most people live in all their lives. As already mentioned, we live in the first known human society that does not embrace (and in fact bans) the use of mind-altering substances. Hence people can not fulfil this basic need in a safe and open way. So this need is pushed into a place of shadow and that which goes into shadow by default becomes life-taking in nature. I don’t think I need to spell it out any more than that.

The other reason I have perhaps said little about the use of ethnogenic substances is that even within the “spiritual” circles, groups, religions, New Age followings, etc., there is a great deal of confusion about and disdain toward the use of ethnogenic substances as a valid spiritual experience. Again, this is not without reason, yet that doesn’t not imply that this attitude is healthy or entirely valid (or valid at all). I won’t bother going into these “reasons” as I perceive them as I am feeling too lazy to do so just now. Perhaps another time.

I am going to complete this entry here. I see it as a very brief and partial introduction to this topic. I will be adding an Entheogenic Plants section to my blog for the purpose of further discussing and exploring this topic. More articles on Entheogens will follow from time to time.

With love and blessings,

FEAL

When a person starts to discover new ways of being, new awareness around food, nutrition, the nature of the world dream, the nature of reality, the nature of Self, etcetera, it is easy for the ego to again play out its madness. Yet we are now dealing with “spiritual ego” — an ego-identification which things it has now transcended the lower madness of the normal human ego. Yet ego is ego which ever way we look at it. Let me remind you that ego is simply the false sense of self that arises through misidentification. So long as my way of being and responding to the world has even a hint of separation and duality playing out then I am to some degree still coming from a place of ego.

The way I have seen this play out in me at various times along the way, is that I would use my awareness and knowledge to separate me from the world and from the people around me. This could be very subtle — almost imperceptible. This could lead to the ego projecting “what is right for me” onto the world and thus trying believe that it knows “what is right for everyone else”. In projecting out “what is right for the world” (the people I meet etc) I am in fact judging people as wrong in their ways. The ego is constantly trying to attack the world, and hence is engages in a constant attack on my Self. I am seeing these people through the eyes of separation — the eyes of the ego.

This only perpetuates and in fact reflects the separation that I continue to maintain within my perception of my self. In fact to even “perceive” myself is an error — for the Truth of That which I AM can only be directly experienced and even then the experience is fleeting so long as my attention is primarily fixated on the dream (which for most people living here in the world that goes without saying). It is fleeting in the sense that once a person directly experiences something it really only has definition in contrast to something else. Thus directly experiencing That which I AM is only tangible in contrast to the state I was in when previously NOT experiencing That which I AM, but rather in a state of perceiving myself through the ego-mind. Once that experience is had then the contrast is forever lost. If I truly experience That which I AM then in that moment That is integrated into my entire sense of Self. I simply become That. Yet in truly becoming or Being THAT I will now see That is everything around me… particularly in the people around me. The world (which is a projection of the one mind That I AM) is now transformed into a mirror of the True nature of That which I AM.

I have diverged off topic here, so let us return to the point of this article.
To try to make the world conform to what is “right” for me is in fact to attack the world with the projection and judgement that the world (and the people around me) are wrong. To judge an-other as wrong is to judge that this being is somehow cut off from Source. That this being is somehow less than the perfection of Consciousness Unfolding… life blossoming… God expanding. To judge this person as wrong is to hold them imprisoned in my mind. Again, this only reflects the degree to which I hold myself imprisoned in judgement.

It is a mistake to identify myself with this world and this body. It is therefore also a mistake to identify my Brother with his/her body and the world in which he appears to live. The Vision of God sees none of this. The Vision of That which Created the “I” in each of us, knows nothing of our mad perceptions. Just as my earthly mother and father might watch over me whilst I sleep in bed… they know nothing of what I am dreaming. All they see in that moment is their perfect Son who they love absolutely. All manner of madness may be playing out in my dreams, yet they know nought of it. Such is the relationship between That which I AM and That which Created That.

So, establish through inspiration that which is most life giving for you in your world. Take on information to whatever degree is necessary to give you the necessary “tool box” of intelligent knowing, then hand this information over to spirit and go with Inspiration. Inspiration will use the information you have on hand, in order to always move you into the most life-giving way of life and living. To simply work with the information alone is bound to lead to fanaticism and imprisonment within a mind full of stories and beliefs, and identification with those stories and beliefs.

Yet, from moment to moment, where you have established your dynamic sense of what is “right” for you, be mindful not to now start seeing the world through eyes that evaluate others based on what is “right” for you. I am not implying that people should be protected from experiencing the painful consequences of life-taking actions and choices they may be making. That’s another matter. All I am suggesting is that to see “wrong” in that person is to see them through the attacking eyes of the ego, which negates (in your world) the Vision of Infinity, of the Creator / Truth / Love.

Ultimately I see this world without thought. They say that “Love is blindness” and I am sure you are familiar with the experience of being in love with a person, whereby everything they do and say becomes okay and acceptable, even adorable. The reasoning ego-mind will conclude that this is folly, and perhaps even dangerous. Yet, in my experience once I start to love the world in true accord with the Love That I AM and in accord with the way Creation Loves me, then I am again faced with a form of blindness. Yet this is not a blindness that equates to loss of sight. No, far from it. It is a form of blindness that simply means I cease to perceive the world through the humans eyes and the ego-mind. Rather I now start to directly experience the world and True holistic Vision unfolds. The world around me ceases to have any story with it. This is akin to looking at a movie at the cinema and I cease to see the images. Rather I now only see that extraordinary bright light that is projected onto the screen and forming these images. Someone might ask me, “What do you see on the screen” or they might point out, “Look at that XYZ happening there”, yet I will be blind to what they are seeing. This person might think I’ve gone quite mad or blind at least. When in fact I am seeing the most incredible display of light and colour dancing there before me.

It is this sort of vision that the Law of Forgiveness depends on. Without this Vision True Forgiveness remains just a concept.

I shall say no more. That is enough.

With love,

FEAL

The truth is that God does not exist and never has. Therefore it is time we let God die.

God is a concept, like all the other many concepts the human trip traps itself within.
God is just another story, another element of the grand illusion.
Therefore it is inevitable that God must die.

Are you up to the task?

He won’t die on his own accord.

Oh no, it’s going to take someone brave, someone courageous, someone who actually thinks they know God to step up and do the deed.

The assassination of God.

It’s not going to be easy, but as it is inevitable we might as well get it over and done with.

She’ll fight back and get bitchy with you.
He’ll try to crush you with guilt.

Are you ready for the challenge?

Here in this human world it is our perception of God that ensures—completely guarantees—that we will never actually know That which is being referred to as God.

As you know, language is nothing but symbols. Perception is also symbolic. We have formed language as a way of communicating perception. Therefore words are symbols of symbols and hence at least 2 steps removed from the truth of direct experience. The symbol “GOD” is so far removed from what it is attempting to refer to that it’s a disaster and has brought about much madness and disaster in this world. It’s time we killed God and put this whole thing aside.

Now get this right. God is a concept. Just a role within our collective illusion or story. An erroneous concept at best.
Hence it is our (mis)conception that must die a much needed death. The story of God is so old and antiquated it’s really time we let our sentimental attachment to God go, and let the old fart rot in hell—yet another part of our story that we’d do well to release and let die.

Most people are faced internally with nothing but intellectual and emotional bull-shit when they think of God and the word God.
Then there are those people that get pissed off at the idea of God, or at least feel a strong aversion even at the mention of the word God.

For most of the people I meet the concept of God is the greatest barrier they face in actually knowing that which this symbol “God” is referring to. Whether they have an affirmative view of this symbol (i.e. they “Believe in God”) or they have a negative view of this symbol (i.e. “God” does not exist, it’s just lies and delusions, “I don’t believe in God”), this “God” concept is maintaining separation from that which is being referred to as “God”.
What a pity. Such a loss…

A swift assassination is the only answer.

To “believe in God” is no different from “beleiving there is no God”. Both are traps set up within the ego-mind. Belief, as the Kahuna would say, is only required for that which is not real. Hence the God I believe exists is as unreal as the God I believe does not exist.

I’ve been in situations where a person will tell me “Oh yes, I believe in God” with this sentimental, righteous, or even a “I’m so fucking holy” (holyier than thou) look in their eyes and I know that they have no idea. Sad, but all perfect.
“God” the concept is something one can believe in or not believe in.
God the Reality is NOT something that can be believed in.
I repeat… as the Kahuna of ancient Hawaii would say, “Belief is only required for that which is not real”.
Well our concept of God is not real. It’s complete mindwash, utter crap.
Just a story, and a pretty disasterous one at that.

I either directly experience and know that which is referred to as “God” or I do not.
It’s not a question of belief.
It’s as simple as that.

Infinity
Great Spirit
Spirit
The Vacuity
The Void
Tao
The Absolute
The Eagle (in Toltec terms)

These are all symbols (words) used to elucidate and indicate that which is being referred to.
Hence, once you have put to death your false concepts of God then the next step is to sit in the still calm space that is created once this concept of God has been dropped.

Oh such space. Such glorious space.

The perfection in voidness, to view vacent veneration as a VIP vacation (words of a dear friend of mine)

Again, whether you “believed in God” or did not “believe in God” this whole God thing has been taking up space within your mind. It was a waste of space.
Once this space is clear of such tripe, a stillness will remain.
Sit there. Be there.

Breath there.

Allow a new experience, a knowing, to arise.
True lasting Peace exists in that still place within.

The truth is That which I AM, that which you are, and that which we refer to as God / Infinity / Spirit etc is ONE.
It’s the same ONE thing and no-thing.
More wars have been fought—more people have been intentionally put to death—in the name of God than perhaps any other cause. Why?
Because our concept of God is all messed up. It’s life-taking through and through.

There is a still, calm centre within all of us that is That which we refer to as God, and it is deeply Peaceful.
Peace does not create war.
Lies, deception, and illusions of separation create war.

One of our biggest sources of lies and separation is the lie we collective maintain about “God”.
That lie destroys us and moves us to destroy ourselves.
That lie is destructive.

It is life-taking and it drains each of us every day that we entertain it.
There is no Inner Peace is this lie called “God”.

Drop the lies and Inner Peace will remain.

Within that still calm place of Inner Peace the actual direct experience of that which we refer to as God / Spirit / Infinity etc will arise on it’s own accord. It has been attempting to reach into your awareness since the beginning of our so-called “time”. Although do not get me wrong. “It has been attempting” could easily be again interpreted as something personified, like an God doing an emotive act or some other confussion like that. That’s not to say that you won’t be moved emotionally, but that movement is your own creation is response to what Is.

This is more akin to a magnet “attempting” to pull another piece of metal toward itself. There is nothing personal, sentimental, or emotive about that.
You would not personify a magnet when you observe that it is pulling a piece of iron toward itself, would you? So neither should we personify that which we call “God” in discussing the fact that “It” has been attempting to reach into your awareness since the beginning of time.
It is nothing personal. Although the contradiction of that is…

That the experience of IT is deeply intimate and perhaps the most “personal” thing you’ll ever have unfold within your world.

I shall say no more.

With love,

Awareness is the key to Liberation.
Awareness is the key to Moksha, Freedom, Enlightenment, Inner Peace—call it what you may.
Pain is a messenger. A self-created “dark angel” that carries forth shadow blessings.
Pain will—when approached in a life-giving and intelligent way—is the indicator of where the light of my Awareness is to next illuminate. It’s the “X that marks the spot”, so to speak.
What spot is it marking?
Pain marks the elements of your story where you have forgotten the Truth, where you have forgotten who and what you truly are—your True nature as a Divine Being, as an extensionof God, as a Being of Love, Magnificence and Glory.

The cultivation of Awareness has to be the primary spiritual practice of any person wishing to enter their natural state of Liberation and Inner Peace. As Awareness emerges from within you and through you, the capacity to apply this Awareness to your life will grow. This capacity to simply remain aware when the drama of life—the story and projections of the ego-mind—are playing out is what will propelyou through the illusion of separation and into the innate bliss that is your Being, your Self, your Presence. At first discipline and what seems like effort will be required to vigilantly come back to a place of awareness when drama appears to be unfolding all around you. Eventually, however, this state will re-establishitself as a perfectly natural way to respond to and meet with life.

I liken this to “walking through the valley of death” or passing through the shadow self. Death is not the opposite of Life. Life has no opposite. Death and birth are two elements of the story we inherit by stepping into the collective ego-mind. Death and birth, as far as this grand story is concerned, are opposites. Not death and Life, however, for Life is beyond the story. Life is running through it all, and beyond, and around… asfar as relating to creation from a spatial perspective (which is not accurate yet is conceptually convenient whilst trying to retrain your mind to perceive in accordance with the Vision of God). Birth is a phenomena arising within the grand spectrum of Life. Death, too, is a phenomena arising in this same spectrum of Life.

Both birth and death are but expressions of Life, existing only in our perception.

Just to be aware. When awareness is lost it is not really lost. You just momentarily identify with thestory that is playing out through your world in that moment. As soon as awareness appears to have returned it has not really return per se but rather you have lessened or ceased to identify with the story in that moment and are now Present, in the moment. We can literally say that your Presence is only in the present. The story of the individual and collective ego-mind does not exist in the present. It plays out only in what we perceive as past and future. There is no awareness in the past and future.

Yet, if I can not be aware in the past in future then how do I become free of the life-taking things that appear to have happened to be in the past?
The key here is that it is not the thing from the apparent past that is bothering you. It is the story you aremaintaining here and now. This collection of “stuff” is what maintains the false sense of here and now. It is just a mirage dancing of the surface of the barren desert of your wounded painful past. But within this mirage, this apparent sense of now, these is pain. This pain, as mentioned already, is the messenger. It is the indicator.

What it indicates is where to give your attention. Where to remain aware in that moment. There is a tendency—often a very strong one, so strong it seems normal—to lose awareness in that moment, or in that part of your story. Rather than being aware of the pain you will simply become the pain and continue to live the story out. By cultivating awareness you will make set up a habit pattern within the mind of remaining aware more readily than before. Then when this pain arisesit might carry you away into dream land for a while but much sooner than previously you will return to a state of Awareness—you will pull back from the story and simply be Present with what is. This is very powerful. Very transformational.

This differs greatly from denial and avoidance. There is no point in trying to deny pain or avoid it. The only form of denial that is healthy within this world of the ego-mind is the denial that reality is how it appears to be in that moment. Whilst still engaged in the ego-mind drama this is a life-giving form of denialthat can be used to create some space between You and your story and the illusion of life here in this apparent world. This is really the only healthy way to use denial. So, other forms of denial, such as denying pain and denying the experience of my story is not healthy. It will only result in this story taking on a life of its own until such time as you face it by bringing Awareness to it.

The Awareness is like a high intensity light. This high intensity light must come into contact with the shadows cast by the ego-mind. The way to find these shadowsis by being mindful of the pain that arises in your story, in your life. Once light comes into contact with shadow it simply disappears. Shadow, or darkness, is not a power unto itself. Rather it is just the absence of light. That absence only “exists” within the story of the ego-mind. So Awareness has to come into contact with the nature of your pain as it arises in any given moment within your experience of day-to-day living. There is, however, something that can and will prevent this contact from being made.

Judgement is like a filter—a dark, thick sound-proof sheet of glass—that stands between your Awareness and the object of your pain. Like a sheet of heavily tinted glass, judgement will only allow you to see a very dark view of what’s in front of you and will only allow a tiny amount of light or Awareness through into your experience. Hence if Awareness and Pain are you greatest allies, then Judgement and Pain are your greatest enemies. The pain is in fact neutral—it is just a messenger after all—but it will amplify what ever you bring to it. It’s not so much about what pain and painful experiences bring to you, rather it is far more about what you bring to the painful experience. Bring awareness to it and you will awaken to greater levels of awareness. Bring judgement to it and you will fall into deeper states of separation, for judgement and separation and two sides of the same coin.

I write about Judgement elsewhere so I don’t intend to elaborate on this here and now.

The key point I wish to make clear is that painful experience is a shadow blessing. Just as disease and sickness is a shadow blessing. Rigidly judging a disease as “enemy” and then at all costs destroying that enemy without deeply pausing and reflecting to receive the gift that this dark angel is bringing to your attention is a sure way to keep yourself in a state of perpetual suffering and misery. The power of decision is in your hands, and with that power you can decide, if you will, to choose that which will bring about an experience of pain.

As the one and only “Son of God” or extension/creation of Great Spirit, that which you are is endowed with limitless power to create. Within the illussion of time and space—life on planet Earth—that power can be explored within the realm of shadow and used to create that which appears to be destructive and painful. That power can, of course, also be used to create greater expressions of Joy, deeper experiences of Love, and more splendid and glorious displays of Life itself.

Forgiveness is a much misunderstood phenomena. With in a true and whole state of forgiveness lies a vast and transformative power. Yet misunderstood it shall do little more than confuse and result in a denial of ones relative experience of the world. Here we explore the Law of Forgiveness as seen through my eyes.