Archive for November, 2005

Developing a healthy relationship to feedback

Published by Jonathan 2 years, 8 months ago in MKP Related and Various Inspirations, Realisations and Explorations. 2 Comments

I have stated previously that my only “need” as a Divine Being is a mirror.

At times that mirror comes in the form of feedback, projection, and remarks from the people I am in relationship with–the people in the world around me with whom I have contact and interaction. For the purpose of this article I will put all of these under the umbrella of “feedback”.

Feedback may come from someone without being asked for; it might also be given to me upon my request, or after I agree to someone’s offer of feedback. It may also come passively through my observation of the stories the people in my world tell about me. When I have actively sort out feedback or agreed to someone else’s offer of feedback then I refer to this as proactive feedback or proactive mirroring. When it comes more passively simply through people stating/projecting what they think of me, or my being aware of the stories people maintain about me, then I would refer to this as passive feedback. What I have found is that it is vital I know how to discern what feedback is of value and which is not. Put another way, what feedback is actually mirroring to me something I need to see about myself and what feedback is not. In my experience most of it is of some value and should not be too readily discounted. Yet, contrary to this, I have also found that the value can be missed or distorted if I don’t discern the appropriate way to receive and relate to each piece of feedback.

Feedback is essentially just information. Most of the time there will be an element of projection taking place when a person gives feedback—in that the person giving feedback is actually projecting toward me the story their ego-mind comes up with in reaction to my presence. I have learnt that it is essentially none of my business what other people think of me, and therefore it is a waste of energy to take personally that perceptions other people have of me.

What I have also found is that when I do take certain feedback personally then at some level this feedback represents an externalisation of something I already hold on to internally as part of my persona. Another way of putting this—and this is a way to spot feedback that has immediate relevance to my ego-perception of myself—is to take note of when the data I am hearing arouses energy within me. As mentioned, it is just data… just words that symbolise a perception someone has of their experience of me. Yet if hearing that external data brings about the movement of internal energy (e-motion) then there has to be an element of what I have just heard that I am already carrying within me. This e-motional energy might be felt as feelings. It might also be experienced as mental activity that was not there previously. The essentially point is that a change of state has resulted from my hearing that feedback. This change of state—however that is experienced—is the red flag to look out for.

So, let’s say this red flag goes up, what is the most life-giving way to relate to this feedback?

In my experience it is still vital not to take it personally. It is my taking it personally—i-dentifying with it—up until now that has prevented me from clearly seeing this perception in the past, and why it is now being presented to me for evaluation (determining its value). I am first and foremost a Divine Being—perfect, whole, and loving in every way. As a Divine Being I am choosing to experience and express through an ego-mind that interprets/creates reality through beliefs, thought-forms, and perceptions. Someone has shared with me their perception of who or how I am to them. This has triggered a change of state within me. That change of state comes about because the perception they have shared has just mirrored to me a perception I also carry—a perception my ego-mind holds about who and what I am, which is then projected out into my world through my actions. It is these actions that this other person has experienced and then felt to give me feedback on.
I can in this moment make the choice to determine:

  • how this self-perception plays out in my life
  • the choices I make under the influence of this self-perception
  • the ways in which I have denied or ignore this self-perception
  • the actions I do or don’t take under the influence of this self-perception
  • whether these choices and actions are life-giving or life-taking to me and the people/world around me

If I determine that the consequence of this perception is life-taking I am then faced with the choice of whether or not to maintain this perception or to let it go. Letting it go may involve a process that includes any of the following:

  • Forgiveness—what is it I need to forgive (release my story around)?
  • Looking at what role this perception has played for me—what purpose was it serving in my life?
  • Looking at why I took on such a belief or perception about myself—was there a root experience that anchored that perception into my self-image?
  • Exploring whatever else comes up when I ask Spirit to show me the gift this perception (and its release) holds for me

Another situation I might face is one where the feedback I receive (passively or pro-actively) does not arouse any energy in me at all—so my state does not change. In my observation this may mean that what this person is expressing is purely their own unresolved stuff and I am simply here to transmute it through an act or state of love and forgiveness. It might also be showing me a way in which my actions give an impression of who and what I am to the world that is not accurate. Put another way, it might be showing me how I am not being authentic in my relationship with this person (or people in general). For example, let’s say I am truly a very caring and deeply feeling person, yet people consistently mirror to me that they believe I am unfeeling or cut off from my feelings. In receiving that feedback it is unlikely it will arouse a much energetic reaction in me, because I am deeply aware that it is not true and I don’t hold that perception of myself. I should not, however, be too hasty in completely disregarding this piece of information that has come to me. What it might be showing me is that although I am a deeply feeling person I choose to act in such a way that my true feelings remain hidden from the world. Hence my actions and way of being is the world (perhaps all the time or just under certain circumstances) is not congruent with my character. I am not being authentic with my feelings in my relationships with the people that give me this sort of feedback that I am “unfeeling”.

So, even though this feedback didn’t result in a change of state, it is still telling me something important and valuable. Through receiving this feedback I am now able to become aware of how the self-image I project into the world is not congruent with my true nature or my character. I can then ask myself why that is so and process it accordingly.

The other situation that may arise, which I have just touched on above, is the one where this feedback really has nothing to do with me. It is purely another person’s story which they are not owning and are projecting to me. Actually nearly all feedback people have is in some way a projection of something that hold within themselves, yet in this last situation it goes not further than that. What I wish to say to this is that this is when I am being gifted with an oppertunity to help heal the world—through holding this person in a place of love and forgiveness within my heart and my perception. Their projection toward me is a call for love, and I can therefore choose to respond with love. The beauty of this is that even if this issue they have brought to me is in fact something I contain yet I am deeply in denile of it and hence had no reaction to it (no change of state) then by responding with love to this other person I will also be loving that part of myself. Eventually it will feel safe enough for that part of my ego-mind to come to the surface and dissolve.

To be accurate I must add that all of these situations are a call for love. Love of of self and love of another. Whatever the case may be I am being presented with a call for love and forgiveness.

In summary we have looked at three scenarios:

  1. Feedback that is mirroring something I hold within my own self-image
  2. Feedback that is showing me how my external image is not congruent with my internal state of being (namely, I am not being authentic)
  3. Feedback that is actually not feedback but is rather just a call for love which I am being asked to silently assist a person to heal

In conclusion I will say that in my experience I am able to make a choice which is life-giving in response to all forms of feedback, projection, and mirroring from the people and world around me.

With love and blessings,

Jonathan Evatt

The impossibility of failure…

Published by Jonathan 2 years, 8 months ago in Various Inspirations, Realisations and Explorations. 0 Comments

Having taken a look at the , where I did also touch on the nature of failure, I’d like to now take a quick look at the illusion of failure in more detail.

Failure is defined in the dictionary as:

  • Omission of occurrence or performance
  • A lack of success or adequacy
  • A decline in strength or effectiveness
  • The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends
  • The condition or fact of being insufficient or falling short

Obviously a failure is something that fails. The word fail is derived from the Latin word fallere , which means “deceive, be lacking or defective.”

I see from these word origins that failure was never a descriptive word (i.e. “I am a failure”), rather is is a verb or an action / state. When I am deceived by the ego-mind as to my true identity then I am in a state of failure. Yet my true nature will always remain the same, so failure is an illusion.

Failure is an omission; a condition of being insufficient; a lack of success.
As we know, every choice is succeeded by an outcome. So a lack of success is truly not possible. So we are left with being in a state of omission, and a condition of insufficiency. The Truth is, however, that the Universe / God is entirely self-sufficient. In every moment the perfect conditions exist in order to maintain the perfection and integrity of what is. So it is really not possible to experience true insufficiency. I can only do that whilst under some spell of belief cast forth by the ego.

That leaves omission. Yes, it is possible that in this moment I will omit to see the true nature of That which I Am. Omit comes from the Latin word omittere, which means “to lay aside” or “disregard”. If I lay aside the Truth of what I am, and disregard the reality that is before me (extending through me into what I experience as the world/life) then I will experience the illusion of failure. I will in that moment fail myself—yet only in illusion.

I would say that the key to avoid failure for the rest of eternity is to simply remain aware, alert, and attentive to the now. With total awareness focused on this moment then it is not possible to be in a state of omission. If I am not in a state of omission then I surely can not fail. If I can’t fail then I can only succeed. One other definition given above for success is “The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends”. In my experience the Soul (if I may call it that for a moment) has only one desired end—namely the absolute experience of Love. If your ego has you desiring all sorts of things that are contrary to this end then it is quite possible you will experience failure and disappointment. Again, the answer is to remain alert and aware. With awareness here now you will know what you are to seek in this moment—and rest assured you will be moved to seek higher and higher expressions of Love.

Be well…

With love…

Jonathan Evatt

The inevitability of Success…

Published by Jonathan 2 years, 8 months ago in Defining the Dream and Various Inspirations, Realisations and Explorations. 0 Comments

Greetings.
It is some months since I lasted posted a blog entry here. Enjoy…

We are going to take a look at what illusions the ego maintains with regards to the concepts we call success and failure.

I know there are many people in the society in which I live who are quite literally striving for success. There are also many people caught up with investing their energy into the belief that they are somehow failures. Then there are those that think they have a fear of success, and that this is what causes them to fail (in their opinion).

I know I that for some years I subscribed to this idea of fearing success. More than just thinking I had a “fear of success”, I am aware that there was also a more elaborate story the ego would tell around this madness: I actually felt like this “fear of success” was something I was somehow a victim to as a result of some unfair thing that had happened to me at some point in my existence; that there was somehow something more noble or “Okay” about having a “fear of success” as opposed to simply “being a failure”; and that the fact I had a “fear of success” made it okay to continue “failing”, whilst I figured out, worked on, and healed the cause of my fear of success. All of this seemed very real and valid at the time. Now it makes me laugh.

This morning I spent some time exploring the nature of success and failure. What I realized during that exercise is what I am going to share with you now.

  • Success is not something I make happen. Rather it is something I re-cognise, allow to be, open to, and express / experience in that state of allowance.
  • Success is simply when my perceived reality is in alignment or accordance with Intention—the Intentionality that is driving my life into being
  • Success is to allow Intent to flow and express unhindered.

Universal Intent (God’s Will, as some put it), or the Intent of Infinity (as others might put it) = success. “God’s will be done”, so to speak. Success is in fact unavoidable. It already IS. The necessary conditions for success are already here and now. In reality success is not only inevitable, but it is right now, and is therefore quite unavoidable.

So let us take a quick look at failure:

  • Failure is an impossibility
  • Failure is to block the alignment of perceived reality and God’s Will (or Universal Intent).
  • This is, of course, impossible and is therefore nothing more than an ego-trip.
  • This means that there is no such thing as failure
  • Therefore failure requires the ego’s cunning illusion of Time. Only in time can I dream up the illusion that I have failed or that I am a failure.

What I see is that so-called failure actually requires energy. I have to invest my power into this state or condition I call failure. Success, on the other hand, already is and on that basis it requires no energy at all. All I have to invest into success is my attention. I simply have to give me attention to what is, here and now, and success is unavoidable.

To have a “fear of success” is really just another cunning way the ego tricks me into continuing to remain caught up in—and investing my energy/power into—the illusion of failure. Fear is perhaps the only form of failure. Fear is also an illusion although it feels real enough in the time in which I experience it. It is only here within time (past, present, and future) that I can experience fear. I once saw it put that F.E.A.R. is an acronym for “False Evidence Appearing Real” or “False Expectations Appearing Real”. What this implies is that fear requires an expectation or evidence. Of course both of these are derived from the past. An expectation is something I pre-establish in the past and bring to what I consider to be now. Evidence is something I gather up in the past and bring to this moment in order to prove or disprove something. If the past was dropped then evidence and expectation would verily vanish forever.

FEAR is also an acronym for Forever Expanding Awareness in Restriction. It is time—the apparent illusion of time—that brings about all forms of apparent restriction. If I drop time and reside in the Eternal Now then what was previously experienced as restriction is instantaneously replaced with Liberation. Thus we end up with Forever Expanding Awareness in Liberation—this website’s namesake.

Again we come back to the reality to in order to engage ones attention with NOW I simply have to be willing to Feal.

To feal, is to heal, which is to be real.

The key points to remember in regards to success and failure are this:

  • Failure is energy inefficient — it is an illusion that requires life-force to maintain. It requires fighting against what is.
  • Failure is, therefore, a fight against your own true nature or Self.
  • Success already is. It is an innate quality or factor built into all that you are.
  • All the conditions necessary for success are here right now.

We shall also take a look at this topic from an etymological perspective—which simply means we will look at the word itself and see what its roots are in order to get to the real meaning behind it.

The word success is derived from the Latin word successus, which is the past participle of succedere, which is the Latin word from which we derive success. This Latin word means “to come after”, or “to follow after”. Originally success simply meant “A result or an outcome”. This was later replaced by the notion that success is when the desired or intended outcome is what results. In the 1400’s we started using the phrase “to succeed well”—”May you succeed well”, for instance. This was the equivalent of wishing someone success in today’s use of English language.

We still use the word succeed to indicate the succession of one thing after another. For example, “The Prince succeeded his father to the throne”, or “The reaction succeeds the addition of the reagent”.

If I make a choice—which is an act of intent—then it is a given that a consequence will succeed that choice. Put simply, my choice will be followed (succeeded) by an outcome or a consequence. If the outcome or consequence accurately reflects my Divinity (the Truth of That which I Am; my true nature) then it could be said that my choice has succeeded well, or that I have succeeded in accordance with What Is (Love / The Will of God / Universal Intent).

If the result of my choice does not accurately reflect my true nature then it could be said that I succeeded badly. The indicator of this is pain of any kind (pain being anything other than deep Inner Peace). Either way I am, in this moment, a success—what I am right now here in this world is what followed-on from the choices I have made. A consequence has followed on from my choice (my act of intent). As an ego-mind (a human identity), I am the success of all my past choices. If I am not happy with the outcome (what I am now) then I must simply look at the choices I have been making and start making different ones.

For those that didn’t find this word exploration too complicated to follow it will have become apparent that the original meaning (or intention) behinds the word success also indicates that success is inevitable. It is unavoidable, and it will therefore require an investment of personal power to maintain any illusion to the contrary—such as the illusion of failure.

It should also be apparent that if you don’t enjoy what you are succeeding at (the consequences which succeed your choices) then the power to change that is in your hands, and always has been. For you are always a success—to fail is simply to make a succession of choices that result in you experiencing something less that what is True about you here and now.

On that note, I wish you the greatest of success in re-cognising the magnificence of all that you are.

Blessings,

Jonathan Evatt