Forever Expanding Awareness In Liberation

The truth is that God does not exist and never has. Therefore it is time we let God die.

God is a concept, like all the other many concepts the human trip traps itself within.
God is just another story, another element of the grand illusion.
Therefore it is inevitable that God must die.

Are you up to the task?

He won’t die on his own accord.

Oh no, it’s going to take someone brave, someone courageous, someone who actually thinks they know God to step up and do the deed.

The assassination of God.

It’s not going to be easy, but as it is inevitable we might as well get it over and done with.

She’ll fight back and get bitchy with you.
He’ll try to crush you with guilt.

Are you ready for the challenge?

Here in this human world it is our perception of God that ensures—completely guarantees—that we will never actually know That which is being referred to as God.

As you know, language is nothing but symbols. Perception is also symbolic. We have formed language as a way of communicating perception. Therefore words are symbols of symbols and hence at least 2 steps removed from the truth of direct experience. The symbol “GOD” is so far removed from what it is attempting to refer to that it’s a disaster and has brought about much madness and disaster in this world. It’s time we killed God and put this whole thing aside.

Now get this right. God is a concept. Just a role within our collective illusion or story. An erroneous concept at best.
Hence it is our (mis)conception that must die a much needed death. The story of God is so old and antiquated it’s really time we let our sentimental attachment to God go, and let the old fart rot in hell—yet another part of our story that we’d do well to release and let die.

Most people are faced internally with nothing but intellectual and emotional bull-shit when they think of God and the word God.
Then there are those people that get pissed off at the idea of God, or at least feel a strong aversion even at the mention of the word God.

For most of the people I meet the concept of God is the greatest barrier they face in actually knowing that which this symbol “God” is referring to. Whether they have an affirmative view of this symbol (i.e. they “Believe in God”) or they have a negative view of this symbol (i.e. “God” does not exist, it’s just lies and delusions, “I don’t believe in God”), this “God” concept is maintaining separation from that which is being referred to as “God”.
What a pity. Such a loss…

A swift assassination is the only answer.

To “believe in God” is no different from “beleiving there is no God”. Both are traps set up within the ego-mind. Belief, as the Kahuna would say, is only required for that which is not real. Hence the God I believe exists is as unreal as the God I believe does not exist.

I’ve been in situations where a person will tell me “Oh yes, I believe in God” with this sentimental, righteous, or even a “I’m so fucking holy” (holyier than thou) look in their eyes and I know that they have no idea. Sad, but all perfect.
“God” the concept is something one can believe in or not believe in.
God the Reality is NOT something that can be believed in.
I repeat… as the Kahuna of ancient Hawaii would say, “Belief is only required for that which is not real”.
Well our concept of God is not real. It’s complete mindwash, utter crap.
Just a story, and a pretty disasterous one at that.

I either directly experience and know that which is referred to as “God” or I do not.
It’s not a question of belief.
It’s as simple as that.

Infinity
Great Spirit
Spirit
The Vacuity
The Void
Tao
The Absolute
The Eagle (in Toltec terms)

These are all symbols (words) used to elucidate and indicate that which is being referred to.
Hence, once you have put to death your false concepts of God then the next step is to sit in the still calm space that is created once this concept of God has been dropped.

Oh such space. Such glorious space.

The perfection in voidness, to view vacent veneration as a VIP vacation (words of a dear friend of mine)

Again, whether you “believed in God” or did not “believe in God” this whole God thing has been taking up space within your mind. It was a waste of space.
Once this space is clear of such tripe, a stillness will remain.
Sit there. Be there.

Breath there.

Allow a new experience, a knowing, to arise.
True lasting Peace exists in that still place within.

The truth is That which I AM, that which you are, and that which we refer to as God / Infinity / Spirit etc is ONE.
It’s the same ONE thing and no-thing.
More wars have been fought—more people have been intentionally put to death—in the name of God than perhaps any other cause. Why?
Because our concept of God is all messed up. It’s life-taking through and through.

There is a still, calm centre within all of us that is That which we refer to as God, and it is deeply Peaceful.
Peace does not create war.
Lies, deception, and illusions of separation create war.

One of our biggest sources of lies and separation is the lie we collective maintain about “God”.
That lie destroys us and moves us to destroy ourselves.
That lie is destructive.

It is life-taking and it drains each of us every day that we entertain it.
There is no Inner Peace is this lie called “God”.

Drop the lies and Inner Peace will remain.

Within that still calm place of Inner Peace the actual direct experience of that which we refer to as God / Spirit / Infinity etc will arise on it’s own accord. It has been attempting to reach into your awareness since the beginning of our so-called “time”. Although do not get me wrong. “It has been attempting” could easily be again interpreted as something personified, like an God doing an emotive act or some other confussion like that. That’s not to say that you won’t be moved emotionally, but that movement is your own creation is response to what Is.

This is more akin to a magnet “attempting” to pull another piece of metal toward itself. There is nothing personal, sentimental, or emotive about that.
You would not personify a magnet when you observe that it is pulling a piece of iron toward itself, would you? So neither should we personify that which we call “God” in discussing the fact that “It” has been attempting to reach into your awareness since the beginning of time.
It is nothing personal. Although the contradiction of that is…

That the experience of IT is deeply intimate and perhaps the most “personal” thing you’ll ever have unfold within your world.

I shall say no more.

With love,

I’ve discussed “Karma” in other writings on this site. Here I would simply like to give attention to what I experience as a rather futile way of relating to Karma that appears to be quite common in many of those who accept the idea of Karma — futile in the sense that this particular relationship to Karma perpetuates the Victim mentality that we must all drop if we wish to reclaim our Power.

Air Transportation Charity Organizations
Angel
Flight Southeast

Here’s more links for assistance with health requirements and transport in the USA.

With love and blessings,

FEAL

Angel Flight

I think this is a great idea. If you live in the USA and need to travel somewhere for medical care and you do not have the money to cover flights costs then via Angel Flight you may be able to get the transport free.

If you or someone you know might benefit from this service then check it out or pass this information on.

With love and blessings,

FEAL

She served me the beer I was now drinking and enjoying with my friend. We sat there, in mental and emotional territory awoken or perhaps highlighted by our response to the movie we’d just seen only minutes before. Talking. Exploring rather deep and esoteric questions about the nature of life, purpose, function, and reality. Closer.

Our waitress finished work for the night. Easter Friday meant that a strict closing time of midnight was enforced. This was one of the only places on the street were we had even managed to find someone willing to serve us a drink—on one of the few nights I’ve actually searched for such a thing in many months. With her cigarettes, cellphone, and note pad she sat close enough to have a conversation, although the distance called for a loud voice and certainly didn’t allow for a feeling of intimacy. We could hear each other and that was enough. After some chat about things typical of first meetings, I asked her why she is here, what she is alive for. Initially it was perhaps that fact that her mother tongue is German that she didn’t understand what I meant.
“You are alive in this body, yes?”
“Well yes…”
“… And if you walk out onto that street tonight and happen to step in front of a bus and it wipes your body out then life here in this world will cease for you, yes?”
She agreed.
“So, if this life that you have is so fragile, yet it is here and you are here, why are you here? What is your purpose? What are you passionate about?”
“… ummm… this is such a hard question. I don’t know the answer”
“Well, you are travelling, yes, so what is it you are looking for”
Her German was no longer the issue. Rather this was unfamiliar territory for her too.
She determined that she was looking for happiness. For joy. Yet also for sadness.
Happiness.
“So you are looking for happiness. Have you ever considered why you are here in this world”
She had not.

So here we are. My whole thinking life—my life since perhaps 8 years of age and seriously since 12 or so—I’ve not been able to live without this question or an awareness of this question in my consciousness. Here she is, and this is perhaps the first time she’s given her attention to such a thought.

Life in this world is a very bizarre phenomena. Life is strange. Yet strangely it is beautiful.
Consciousness unfolding.
Apparent fragments of That which I AM unfolding through time and space. Just a perception.
There is only that life that I Am… yet so many expressions. So many experiences.
Life is an mysterious thing. Perhaps that is why humanity goes to such length to destroy it.

Often I have faced situations where I find myself seeking or asking within for an answer to an apparent problem or dilemma. Usually I just sort of know what it is I must do, say, what course of action I must take etc. Take going to MKP for instance. I knew nothing about it. I was not looking for anything. I was not facing any issue or problem in my life to which MKP might have been a solution. Rather the New Warrior weekend was simply recommended to me by someone—for whatever reason that might have had running in their story at that time—and later a man phoned me to see if I was going to come. I knew to go to the introduction meeting. I sat there and saw men who, in my opinion at the time, were in a rather different space from me and had some sort of life-crisis that spurred them to doing the weekend. So my questioning mind had no data to really base a decision on. Yet I simply “knew” that this is something I am to do.
Now, I’ll jump into my point. Had I not liked what I perceive the consequence of going would be then it is highly likely I would have felt like “I don’t know what to do”. Same data. Same situation. Same intuitive guidance, yet a different experience.
This is a fairly simple example that may not illustrate my point as clearly as I would like, so I shall explain some more.
What I have learnt is that by the time a person is saying “I don’t know what the answer is” the truth underlying that “state” is that this person got an answer that they do not like the perceive consequences of. A person is either open to knowing and remains open to the guidance that will move them into “right action” or they know and are now taking that action—or perhaps consciously choosing not to take that course of action, yet also not complaining that they don’t know. Nearly always only these two states are authentic. The state of “I don’t know”… well, it’s just a smoke screen.
I know what to do, yet the story I tell at the level of ego-mind in regards to that knowing is one I don’t like. Let’s say I was to ask “Should I do A or B”.Eventually—usually instantly—the answer is there. Intuition is not a time based phenomena. The answer might be “Go with doing B”.Yet I may have the belief that B is going to mean I’ve got to do something that I judge as too challenging, too revolutionary, too difficult, too outside my comfort zone, etc. Therefore I will block this intuitive guidance. I will block the answer that is beating at the door in my mind. This will result in me entering that state of “I don’t know what to do”. This is a facade. A self-protection mechanism cunningly thrown up like a smoke screen by the ego-mind (ego simply being a misidentification of Self)—some might say it’s a smoke screen thrown up by shadow.
I invite you to explore what I have put forth here. I invite you to take deeper look at those areas in your life where you feel like “I don’t know what the answer is” or “I don’t know what to do”. Ask yourself, what is it about the hunch I am getting that I don’t like.
Another way that will often cut to the core of what it is I am avoiding by maintaining a state of “I don’t know” is to deeply and honestly ask myself, “What is the last thing I would want God to tell me to do in this situation”? Or, with regards to the question I am asking, “What is the answer would I be most afraid to get if God were to answer this for me?”

I watched a man stepping into the early stages of his work recently, and there is a realisation I shared with that man that I feel other men—men consciously on the path to liberation from the collective insanity we call “normality”—might benefit from reading about.

What I have observed and experienced in my own life, and the realisation that came whilst observing the work of another man, is this:
What appears to be an impossible situation; a catch-22 type dilemma; a no-way-out circumstance; call it what you may—is not simply calling out for “fixing” and resolution. Rather this sort of self-created phenomena is in fact calling out for a change of consciousness. The way in which I have woven my particular story of suffering and misery is in complete congruence with my Soul’s path to set me free.

The implications of this fact are that rigidly fixating on trying to find a solution or an immediate easy answer to my apparent dilemmais not what my work is all about. When a man comes back to a place of self-love, drops his judgement of himself and his apparent circumstances, and brings clear clean awareness into contact with the dilemmahe appears to be facing his situation is immediately transformed. This is the transformation from facing a painful and seemingly unsolvable dichotomy, to now facing the means and circumstances through which That which I AM is waking this man up to his glory, his authentic power, his love, and his omnipotent magnificence. What appeared to be a deeply personal battle for survival has now been transformed into a deeply impersonal experience of that which will wake this man up to his true self.

The warrior of old went to war. This war was about fighting and destroying that which was judged to be wrong or bad. The new warrior goes into loving conscious relationship. A relationship with that which is perhaps frightening, deadly to the ego/shadow self, and intimidating. Relationship with that which will—when approved rightly—will unveil that which has kept this man in a place of smallness, emotional poverty, false power, no power, destructiveness, and general suffering. This is a relationship that I would liken to the warrior that is going out on a hunt. When I go into war I am there to fight and destroy the life of a perceived enemy—this was the way of the old warrior. Yet as man going out on a hunt I am stepping out into the unknown elements of nature in order to form a relationship with my prey. Through this relationship I will get to know it’s ways. I will come to know it’s habits like where it sleeps, grazes, drinks, andwalks. I will come to know whether it has family and I will come to know it’s position within it’s “tribe”. I come to know all these things as I carefully and lovingly stalk it so that I might successfully capture this prey—now a friend that I honour and respect—and then receive the life that it embodies.

As you can see, I am sure, that warrior that goes out to stalk and hunt prey is a very different warrior from he who goes out to seek and destroy another man. Hunting, when approached in the way of our ancient ancestors, is a life-giving act of grace—of love in action.

What I would like to suggest is that my shadow—and your shadow—is in fact prey that is best approached like the wise hunter would approach it. In my experience, it is easy for a man to approach his pain, his struggles, and his shadows in a way that is much like going to war.

“I experience such pain when I am faced with this sort of situation in my relationship with my wife… It’s a real shadow behaviour for me… I want to root that fucker out and be free of this bullshit”.

Oh, how often have I heard a man talk about his work in this way, perhaps feeling that it’s a noble step for him to be so open about what’s going on for him.

Yet what I would like to gently and lovingly suggest is that this is the cry of an old warrior of war going into battle on the contemporary battlefield of his own inner psyche. I can not differentiate between this and the person I here saying

“I’ve got this cancer in my lung… I just want to get rid of this fucker… it’s eating me up and I don’t fucking like it. I feel scared and intimidated (by this enemy)”

The hunter will also feel some fear as he steps away from the familiar territory of his village and out into the wilderness. A wilderness that no matter how well he explores, it will always embody a strong presence of the unknown for him for it is always changing and forever full of surprises—for it is alive and evolving and growing all the time. Yet this fear will not bring about intimidation and the heartless desire to attack and destroy that a man going to war might feel as he steps out onto the battlefield. No, rather it will heighten his sense, centre him in his heart, and make his mind lucid withpenetrating awareness. In this heightened state he will go out on the hunt to receive more life.

When a man stalks his own shadows in this way he too is going out—or more “in” as the case may be—to hunt for more life. He is stepping inward to claim back that fragment of his own life—his own Soul—that he had previously lost and forgotten about. To approach this sort of inner work with a warring attitude is to potentially destroy the very Life that I am here to receive, reclaim, and reintegrate. I can not, of course, destroy life for God has created me as a Creator. Hence this Life—this fragment of my own Self that I am ultimately meant to reclaim—will simply jump ship and start expressing itself in the form of yet another shadow.

Let me give voice a word of warning though. Life is infinitely intelligent. Hence if I go to war with my shadow and destroy what appears to be its menacing form, then the life behind it and within it will find an increasingly formidable form to express itself through next time. Each time I am faced with the challenge of reclaiming this particular fragment of my own Soul the circumstance will get increasingly painful and increasingly challenging. The eventual outcome being that if I keep up this warring approach I will eventually find myself out there on the battlefield facing such a vast and powerful “enemy” that going to battle with it will no long be an option.

“This fucker will wipe you out no matter how bloody minded and powerful you think you are”.

When faced with such a formidable enemy I have two options. Either I go to war and die, or a retreat and reassess the situation. That reassessment—when carried out with intelligence and wisdom—will result in only ONE outcome. The natural outcomeis that I will have to drop my sword, my armour and my shield. I will pick up my bow and arrow, a bag of water, and a light rucksack, and step out into the jungle of my own interiority to meet this perceived opponent not as “enemy” to be destroyed, but as prey to be hunted. I will go into a loving relationship with it—and it must be a loving relationship. The only way the hunter truly gets to know his prey is by entering into this loving relationship, for it is only in that sacred space that he can truly meet his prey, connect with it, bond with it, and hence come to deeply know and understand it.

So this is why your shadow, your pain, and your suffering will continue to escalate when approached unconsciously. This is the mechanism by which Nature insures that every human will in fact one day wake up to approaching Life with deep love, reverence, and as a blessing presence.

May you quickly realise that each perceive shadow, dilemma, challenge, and painful circumstance you face is not there to be “got rid of”. Rather it is there to teach you and to grant you more Life—Life that you had previously given up in order to become more aware of what you are by experiencing what it means to lose it. Each trying situation is there to heal you. Each challenge and formidable situation is there to temper your spirit so that you might bring forth an even greater expression of your Magnificence. It’s not an enemy, rather it is one of your greatest allies.

With love and blessings,

Awareness is the key to Liberation.
Awareness is the key to Moksha, Freedom, Enlightenment, Inner Peace—call it what you may.
Pain is a messenger. A self-created “dark angel” that carries forth shadow blessings.
Pain will—when approached in a life-giving and intelligent way—is the indicator of where the light of my Awareness is to next illuminate. It’s the “X that marks the spot”, so to speak.
What spot is it marking?
Pain marks the elements of your story where you have forgotten the Truth, where you have forgotten who and what you truly are—your True nature as a Divine Being, as an extensionof God, as a Being of Love, Magnificence and Glory.

The cultivation of Awareness has to be the primary spiritual practice of any person wishing to enter their natural state of Liberation and Inner Peace. As Awareness emerges from within you and through you, the capacity to apply this Awareness to your life will grow. This capacity to simply remain aware when the drama of life—the story and projections of the ego-mind—are playing out is what will propelyou through the illusion of separation and into the innate bliss that is your Being, your Self, your Presence. At first discipline and what seems like effort will be required to vigilantly come back to a place of awareness when drama appears to be unfolding all around you. Eventually, however, this state will re-establishitself as a perfectly natural way to respond to and meet with life.

I liken this to “walking through the valley of death” or passing through the shadow self. Death is not the opposite of Life. Life has no opposite. Death and birth are two elements of the story we inherit by stepping into the collective ego-mind. Death and birth, as far as this grand story is concerned, are opposites. Not death and Life, however, for Life is beyond the story. Life is running through it all, and beyond, and around… asfar as relating to creation from a spatial perspective (which is not accurate yet is conceptually convenient whilst trying to retrain your mind to perceive in accordance with the Vision of God). Birth is a phenomena arising within the grand spectrum of Life. Death, too, is a phenomena arising in this same spectrum of Life.

Both birth and death are but expressions of Life, existing only in our perception.

Just to be aware. When awareness is lost it is not really lost. You just momentarily identify with thestory that is playing out through your world in that moment. As soon as awareness appears to have returned it has not really return per se but rather you have lessened or ceased to identify with the story in that moment and are now Present, in the moment. We can literally say that your Presence is only in the present. The story of the individual and collective ego-mind does not exist in the present. It plays out only in what we perceive as past and future. There is no awareness in the past and future.

Yet, if I can not be aware in the past in future then how do I become free of the life-taking things that appear to have happened to be in the past?
The key here is that it is not the thing from the apparent past that is bothering you. It is the story you aremaintaining here and now. This collection of “stuff” is what maintains the false sense of here and now. It is just a mirage dancing of the surface of the barren desert of your wounded painful past. But within this mirage, this apparent sense of now, these is pain. This pain, as mentioned already, is the messenger. It is the indicator.

What it indicates is where to give your attention. Where to remain aware in that moment. There is a tendency—often a very strong one, so strong it seems normal—to lose awareness in that moment, or in that part of your story. Rather than being aware of the pain you will simply become the pain and continue to live the story out. By cultivating awareness you will make set up a habit pattern within the mind of remaining aware more readily than before. Then when this pain arisesit might carry you away into dream land for a while but much sooner than previously you will return to a state of Awareness—you will pull back from the story and simply be Present with what is. This is very powerful. Very transformational.

This differs greatly from denial and avoidance. There is no point in trying to deny pain or avoid it. The only form of denial that is healthy within this world of the ego-mind is the denial that reality is how it appears to be in that moment. Whilst still engaged in the ego-mind drama this is a life-giving form of denialthat can be used to create some space between You and your story and the illusion of life here in this apparent world. This is really the only healthy way to use denial. So, other forms of denial, such as denying pain and denying the experience of my story is not healthy. It will only result in this story taking on a life of its own until such time as you face it by bringing Awareness to it.

The Awareness is like a high intensity light. This high intensity light must come into contact with the shadows cast by the ego-mind. The way to find these shadowsis by being mindful of the pain that arises in your story, in your life. Once light comes into contact with shadow it simply disappears. Shadow, or darkness, is not a power unto itself. Rather it is just the absence of light. That absence only “exists” within the story of the ego-mind. So Awareness has to come into contact with the nature of your pain as it arises in any given moment within your experience of day-to-day living. There is, however, something that can and will prevent this contact from being made.

Judgement is like a filter—a dark, thick sound-proof sheet of glass—that stands between your Awareness and the object of your pain. Like a sheet of heavily tinted glass, judgement will only allow you to see a very dark view of what’s in front of you and will only allow a tiny amount of light or Awareness through into your experience. Hence if Awareness and Pain are you greatest allies, then Judgement and Pain are your greatest enemies. The pain is in fact neutral—it is just a messenger after all—but it will amplify what ever you bring to it. It’s not so much about what pain and painful experiences bring to you, rather it is far more about what you bring to the painful experience. Bring awareness to it and you will awaken to greater levels of awareness. Bring judgement to it and you will fall into deeper states of separation, for judgement and separation and two sides of the same coin.

I write about Judgement elsewhere so I don’t intend to elaborate on this here and now.

The key point I wish to make clear is that painful experience is a shadow blessing. Just as disease and sickness is a shadow blessing. Rigidly judging a disease as “enemy” and then at all costs destroying that enemy without deeply pausing and reflecting to receive the gift that this dark angel is bringing to your attention is a sure way to keep yourself in a state of perpetual suffering and misery. The power of decision is in your hands, and with that power you can decide, if you will, to choose that which will bring about an experience of pain.

As the one and only “Son of God” or extension/creation of Great Spirit, that which you are is endowed with limitless power to create. Within the illussion of time and space—life on planet Earth—that power can be explored within the realm of shadow and used to create that which appears to be destructive and painful. That power can, of course, also be used to create greater expressions of Joy, deeper experiences of Love, and more splendid and glorious displays of Life itself.